Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Kati Patang

fingers flying on the micro mini keyboard of phone "how was your day"

beep beep "was ok, rough day"

beep beep "how was yours"

beep beep "pretty good, i downloaded this bloody awesome movie btw..."

beep beep "oh yeah temme abt it"

beep beep

beep beep...and so flow the conversations when two strangers get acquainted and start exploring each other...

Ofcourse these beeps would have started off from a chance meet somewhere...and will probably turn to hour long conversations of same nature...

soon however even this will pass into the phase when the two shall start meeting...and this is where the rubber meets the road...because no matter how much you text, scrap, tweet or talk...its only when you spend time with each other that the heart either grows fonder or fainter...real real fast...

And that is why people find the change difficult to adjust to, it all happens so fast...the person you were talking to suddenly starts giving you hot rushes (in the good way ;) ) or you start wondering what were you thinking of all these weeks.

Whats more discomforting is the reason you've stopped liking that person...dresses badly, has a wierd odour to them, teeth, hair, bad at humor, bad humor :P, too lanky, too fat, all the things that you thought were too superficial to you...

And then the phase of the i've been busy, ignoring the person, something that starts happening naturally...

And i've seen both sides of the gender get caught on both sides of the problem...the ignorer and the ignored (yes ignoree is no word :P). Its hard for someone to explain this to someone who they've lost interest in as to why...mostly they ain't sure themselves...but its not so hard for the ignored to catch onto the signals...

In that case...Be silent, be gone...its probably for the better :) (and don't trust me on this...life is an experiment..go ahead and have yours :P)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Conversations with a Rockstar : Her turn to ask

The first part of the conversation can be found here

RockStar:hey tell me was thr sum super hot girl in xyz course kya a yr junior to u? or maybe in ur batch wht was her name?
Me: yeah na we've discussed her...junior
RockStar: name
Me: some muslim chick wait
RockStar: haan wht was her name …yes !
Me: it'll come to me...not so shaply toes, fat ass, but wat looks and nice style..daymn
RockStar: haan she wore suits n stuff…but was really hot..haina?
Me: cant remember abhi give me a day..yeah
RockStar: k..kal sum senior was talkin bout her
Me: he he…so wat abt her?
RockStar: kuch nahi turns out even her uniors drooled over her *juniors
Me: yeah she was droolable...wat ppl kno less is she was pretty smart...she used to teach the english in one of the CAT coaching places and had a blog also fucking rich...her pop was a senior VP /owned some financial investment firm
RockStar: sahi…so while everyone else was lustin aftr her cute butt…one guy loved the 'pilgrim soul' in her…lol…sahi
Me: no she was no pilgrim...she was smart, rich, pretty and quite a fool...madly after a guy who as far as i cud guess treated her like shit…or so i felt
RockStar: sigh
Me: :P
RockStar: irony of life…why is life so unfair…seriously…u shud wirte a post on this
Me: life isn't...but life also presents everyone a challenge
RockStar: thw cruelty of life
Me: some ppl life gives very difficult challenges…poverty, ugliness, dumbness, physical/mental handicap…she comparatively got a simpler one :P…think if there were no challenge there wud b no fun either
RockStar: ok tell me…if sum random guy can see her smart brain n see her gettin treated badly…n has a thing for her…why cant he muster the courage to wlk upto her…n make things right
Me: errr hello...whatever gave u the idea i didnt...
RockStar: lol...oh ya u did…:P
Me: i was never the popular chap around...and the more popular chaps (read student council) took to getting me listed in the bad books

RockStar: i just asked coz im surrounded by such stupid guys here at nm who act like lil scared girls..when the time comes for then to show up u knw
Me: and it worked...on her atleast :P
Me: yeah becoz 90% of them will hear a no…imagine random guy...somebody from college...he's walking up to u...everybody in the collg sees it...then he has to come say hi, say something...without it sounding obvious he's hitting on u...but then why will u think he's otherwise…why else is he coming up to say hi…ure attitude defences will shore up...and he'll get snubbed…hence guys back off
RockStar: cmon ur makin this guy sound like a kid frm the homeless shelter…the guy has to have sum courage…so spunk to get the girls attention…no? …*some spunk…n i think girls appreciate tht… as for me
Me: i dun kno the exact circumstances...of the guy u r talking abt…so cant say…yes some spunk is necessary
RockStar: im so done wid people here...if any guy wants to be wid me. he can just cut thru the chase n the crap n just come n tell me. id appreciate tht more than the usual..ooo i think i like u but m so sonfused coz i have a gf already crap !! aaggghh
Me:Waisey :P i like u...but am no mood to hit on u...jst saying...
RockStar: lol…i meant genereally na
Me: i'm saying specifically :P ure a cute, smart, fun girl...like u...but like i said, me no gonna b hitting... :P
RockStar: see thts why i like u…tht makes it uber cool
Me: he he...yeps...i dont go in for a kill unless i feel the bait wants it and i am very on the face abt it :P
RockStar: :P
Me: this has gone into a very boring mode :P too much on the face talk :P
RockStar: lol ok ur tunr gimme sum guyish info
Me: sure ask…is this still for that gj chap?
RockStar: noo…see
Me: thnk god
RockStar: haan this guy na senior we hang out usually a lot like post gym..catch up for dinner n all nice to talk to kinds bt i think hes got a thing for me n shit i dnt knw how to act wid him…oz he is tht gj’s classmate…n he doesnt knw abhi tak about me n gj..
Me: errr ok…u want him to hit on u?
RockStar: nooo…like yest he was bummed coz of placemnts n stuff….so i asked him ok wht wud u do the day u get placed..so hes like..go out to a nice place wid u… :| …n i was like...uhh..ok.. :-s
Me: well...tht sounds like he's hitting on u..subtly
RockStar: yaaa…n im just dreadin wht he will say when he gets to knw bout the gj chap
Me: errmm...u were hanging out with him, u liked him, but he had a gal..so thats the end of that…watz there' to be embarassed?
RockStar: uhh…i dunno…i just feel bad about the whole thing…hey u knw wht…i blasted tht guy no…so hes like..ok u take time to cool down…just gimme one day
to talk to u in person…PM i will make things right…have to give u explanations n stuff
i wasnt fakin it…n other crapo *crap
Me: dudette...let me giv u a simple...non unclish hint...
RockStar: ?
Me: there are parts of a relationship tht are troublesome...those are the ones where u adapt to the others peculiarities…but there are other parts that shud work like clockwork if the shoe doesnt fit right...it will bite…now go figure :P
RockStar: thts deep :P
Me: :P thts wat i learned from my exp with the TLC girl...don't try and make it work...atleast not in the early phases...the effort part shud come in the last mile not in the first mile…btw can i use this for a post...this conversation, i'll ofcourse unname u and change a few details
RockStar: i was about to say tht…this shud totally go into ur blog
Me: see i'm quite fast ;)
RockStar: :P i figured tht while havin the bra size convo wid u :P nyways i'll leave..bandra's callin
Me: u want the bra size thing also?
RockStar: lol
Me: hmm makes sense...will do
RockStar: ur blog…do wtever
Me: in two separate posts
RockStar: see u :)
Me: have fun :)

Conversations with a Rockstar : Mini Diploma

RockStar: heyi
Me: heyo…ssup
RockStar: nothin 2 day brk…ssup wid u
Me: work, lots of it :P a bad proj mgr, but other than that...lemme see…found another good blog to read…chat with the lady too
RockStar: :P ooh
Me: US lady...mother of a teenager :P
RockStar: crap
Me: no no...everythings not abt hitting on ppl yaar…gud fun to talk to her
RockStar: its not? :| damn i got it all wrong :P
Me: nopes...its not....otherwise the moment u find somebody who accepts ure hitting then tht means no more meeting nu ppl? :P i talk to ppl becoz i like talking to ppl hitting is just incidental to finding someone u really sync up wid
RockStar: ok ok guruji
Me: he he :P stop geting me into uncle mode!!! I shall from now on lay all the blame of my uncle mode on ppl who elicit it :P
RockStar: lol
Me: so anyways she's one helluva battery charged lady...she's found a new bf...and she's all explosm abt it
RockStar: been thr done tht…lol
Me: no no...u haven't....hav u done panty thursdays?
RockStar: i wear panties everyday…whts so special bout thrus? thursdays*
Me: its the day u take them off...multiple times...for a particular kind of activity :P
RockStar: so it shud be cald panty less thrus na
Me: ermm i think she called it down-panty day or something..dont expect me to remember so many details :P
RockStar: I thought u were good wid details when it came to womens lingerie
Me: yes but not the terminology
RockStar: u gotta catch up kid :P
Me: actually am not so good with lingerie...u will have to enlighten me...
RockStar: sure

Me: i kno bra, strapless bra, wonderbra (=pushup i presume), sports bra, nighty...I dont understand cup sizes and all…I kno the letter means something and size means something…like 32D…but i dont kno wat
RockStar: thrs the sporty panties..the kinda thing in which u can jog upto 5kms n make out too..then thr r the thongs…yeah u cant jog in those lol. they might come off any sec...grt for sex..then thrs the lacy kinds...u knw the usual barbie dollish..then thrs the usual ugly girl kinda panty..comes in repulsive colours like brown…then thrs the magic panties…does wonders to fat women by hididn the extra fat…then thrs the outrightly in ur face sexy kinds....see thru panties...mahn i gotta buy on of those…lol…the typical victoria secret kinds…and tht…my frnd…is a mini guide
Me: thongs = g-string = a v shaped thing which is mostly stringy and jst coves the crotch
RockStar: to the world of panties…yes…ur doin well…:P
Me: naah dont do those see thru ones...no fun
RockStar: 32d = a lean girl wid a weird boobs
Me: no no explain to me...wat the nbr means and wat the letter means
RockStar: 36d = pamela Anderson…32a= non existent breasts more like mosquito bites.. these were the class intervals…rest u can do the maths..:P
Me: wat u r telling Me is that u dont kno ureself wat 32 means and wat d means isnt it
RockStar: uff…its so simple wht cant u understand…see 2..means when the measure ur chest in inches..like they do in the gym…so a lean girl wud be 32
Me: ok
RockStar: n a volumptuious one wud be 36…and a b c d means the cup size…now a…lean girl wid a boob job wud be 32 d…n a fat girl wid no boobs wud be 36a…get it?...mahn guys r dumb
Me: hullo...u can jst throw a figure into our face an say go decipher it…this was all the explanation one needed :)…now i 'know' :P
Me: :P ok so in bags we have clutches and those big ones or is there more to it?
RockStar: cluthes go well wid a nice elegant evenin dress usually then big bags...classy never outta style…then uve got crazy tattooed emo stuff…then uv got classy small ones....gucci jimmy chooo prada n the like
Me: small but with shoulder straps
RockStar: sling bags...colg chicks carry tht..u wudnt need this info i think
Me: err i hope /guess not :P
RockStar: yes. not everyone can carry those...u see thrs a thin line between classy n tacy
*tacky when it comes to hang bags
Me: he he
RockStar: every woman possesses atleast 3 subject to no upper limit :P
Me: tht part i kno :P
RockStar: one is a dump all ur crap in bag... the thing which they carry everyday to work/colg. it carries more stuff than the lost city of gold
Me: and yet mostly, no eclairs
RockStar: al cluttered n messed up kinds..sigh ya
Me: :P
RockStar: n it takes forever to find the lip gloss ..its more like a lucky dip
Me: so thats bags
RockStar: second is the date bag....darker shades...girls carry them to dates, ya, wht else u want...shoes u knw, bags i told u, lingerie, man, u alrdy knw too much
Me: clothes :P salwar kameez, tees, shirts, tube tops
RockStar: self descriptive :P
Me: there's something pecil straps or something, *pencil, shrugs, wat else is there
skirts, long, gypsy, mini, micro mini; trousers
RockStar: pencil strap..noodle strap kinda like a sleeve less...wid just two lil strings to hold it frm lettin ur boobs show…the shawl kinda thing guys carry in winters…the gypsy skirts...the kinda long delhi cp kinda skirts u see firang hippies wearing coupled usually wid a noodle strap
Me: yeah tht i kno
anything else left?
RockStar: no u jst acquired urself a mini diploma in womens fashion…not many straight guys can boast of tht…congrats
Me: thanks...not many straight guys like women like i do :P and no i didnt mean that in a dirty sense :P…jst...one of the most amazing pieces crafted by god :)…somebody stop the uncle in me :D ok dirty sense...i meant in the dirty sense :P
RockStar: :P

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cute Little Love Stories - 7 : The hotness

Cute Little Love Stories - 6

Cute Little Love Stories - 5

Cute Little Love Stories - 4

Cute Little Love Stories - 3

Cute Little Love Stories - 2

Cute Little Love Stories - 1

"ae agar main kabhi tujhse kuch chupaai toh"

(girl: "hey if someday i hide something from you")

"koi na...fatka padega...jor ka...dhuey pe...laalo laal"

(guy: "aah no worries, u gonna get one solid spanking on your bum, red hot one")

"sachchi!!!" (really!!!) she said in her half haughty, half naughty semi questioning tone

He looked at her, and saw a glint creeping into her eyes

"chal tharku!!! aankhein tak chamak rahee hai" (haah horny one, even your eyes are gleaming)

she blushed her way into his arms...and the two of them onto the rug... ;)

while when we talk of relationships we mostly talk of the compatibility of nature, emotions...sexual compatibility, the ability to read each others signals is another important ingredient to successful relationship

jisne pehle ke post naee padhey hain...jaldi karo yaar...try and keep up :P

Monday, January 11, 2010

Conversations with God

"Dear God" the woman remarked "I'm smart, i'm fun, i'm savy, i deserve the perfect man, why haven't you sent him to me"

God looks kind of confused "but i did kiddo, but you were so busy being smart, fun and savy that on his request i had to shift him to the perfect woman"

"When" she said half shriekingly "they were all imperfect, the ones i met, where was the perfect guy you sent, and wait, how the hell am i not the perfect woman!!!" she said in enough anger to even scare god

god, in a little subtler tone after all that shrieking "ahem, mind your language please, after all, it is god you are talking too. Kiddo even i'm not perfect, all over history people question God, Why did Ram leave Sita, why did Gandhi call of quit India, Was Jesus really born out of a virgin?; there's no end to finding faults, even with God. The perfect woman...is perfect because she loved the imperfections of the perfect guy

"Damn, so will i never find happiness"

"You're talking to god, shouldn't be that difficult, maybe you just haven't given it enough thought"

She woke up a while later and looked at her lab...had she been talking to her dog? no no just a dream she thought

Later at another place a chap sitting under a tree having beer and peanuts "god man you're awesome, I mean only god could've known that peanuts are the best thing to go with beer, I mean like wow"

God: "you kno its tuff to hardsell you to these women as the perfect man if you keep talking like this, ok now throw some pretzels my side"

Tossing a few peanuts that way "Oh chill man don't have to hardsell me and all, btw thats another awesome piece of work of yours, funny they are in some ways, but they're good, especially the ones that don't nag so much, they are the best, awesome creatures man, here's a toast to them"

Ofcourse the man saw nothing wierd in talking to his dog, he was drunk, thats what you were supposed to do when you were drunk


Ok this post wasn't about the girl or the guy or the stupid 5th class debate :P but have you ever wondered the dog is supposed to be the man's best friend, all civilizations across all time periods have had dogs...surprisingly and i may be wrong on this none of the civilizations have portrayed dog as a religious symbol, no god has ever been associated with a dog. I think its not by chance, its like a secret agreement, keep the focus away from the dog...but i think one of the members of the secret committee decided to be little benevolent on mankind...after all why else would they have spelt out the name in english as DOG || GOD...

if you don't believe me...just look into a dog's eyes

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Cute Little Love Stories - 6

Cute Little Love Stories - 1

Cute Little Love Stories - 2

Cute Little Love Stories - 3

Cute Little Love Stories - 4

Cute Little Love Stories - 5

"Tu aajkal likhta naee hai"

"Tu aajkal padti jo naee hai"

"Tujhe pata hai naa aajkal busy chal raha hai mera"

"To jab tu free ho jaaegi tab likhoonga"

"Tu kya sirf mere liye likhta hai"

"baaki koi reader god (lap) mein baith kar comment naee deta na" he said with a wink

"haan woh bhi hai" she said, from her comfortable position in his lap. He knew how to make her feel special and that is all that mattered, all that she needed to drive away the tiredness of her job


ok guys awesome weather these days in delhi...early morning driving through the fog on the DND is like driving through clouds...stuff romantic scenes in real life are made off...so those of you who are a couple...hope you are making the best of the season...take a weekday off on the foggiest day...drive around on the DND...come back home have pakodas...and go back to sleep :P

Cute Little Love Stories are a series i started based on a fledgling romance that plausibly started last year but never took off. These are the conversations that happen perhaps in another timezone another lifetime...but i hope you journey along with these characters, they are very much real, even if their romance is imaginary :)

Monday, January 4, 2010

The test of extremes

Ok so since i have vowed (and broken the vow like within the first week of new year) to not give gyan any longer...

I shall help you to make your own #gyan ( i know, i can see you going for that tomato that seems to have lost all its shape, so hold it right there bugger :P)

Theories of life, are best tested i believe at the extremes...

i'll try give you one example and like always leave thins unclear :P

Q1 Whom do you think of during the times when you're in most pain....

Q2 Now how much attention have you given this person in the last three days....

Q3 If you feel you haven't given enough attention, what were you so busy doing...

Q4 That one thing that kept you busy, when you are at your death bed would you feel it was worth it, worth all the sacrifices...

I don't have to tell you what to do with the answers or how to form more questions...