Uneasy Love

I've been an ardent believer of the "try and understand" people philosophy

It's not a bad philosophy and to a very large extent it should be followed

But beyond that you'll find there's enough about a person you'll just never understand

And so if you are going to base your love on understanding then "curse me to any end for saying this now and not earlier" you are probably gonna be in big trouble

So this line today "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood" that i read on FB kinda struck me, while like most sensible statements its corrupted by a bias towards one gender...but if you can get past that...you'll find that only loving is loving...understanding is never gonna be loving

And that's a very uneasy zone...at least for me...because it involves going into a zone where you are vulnerable and exposed, there is no back up of rationality to help you...it sends shivers down your spine and makes your heart rush...

But hey didn't I just describe symptoms of being in love...

I rest my c"ass"e

The bro code part 2 - Case of the tattering marriage

For those who haven't read the first part take a peek here

Ok so a chap from our community approached us with this peculiar (peculiar by his standards, its a very common syndrome) problem. A friend of his had been going through a time with her marriage and like any friend should he offered her his shoulder to cry on, his ears to listen to her problems and sane advice (if any man could ever offer one :P ). In doing so he lost his heart to her, she had always been a nice smart witty female this closeness sharing of pain proved to be the tipping point. However as fate would have it the lady managed to get her marriage back on track (thank allah for this :) we don't like seeing marriages breaking up).

So now the question is what does our chap do. While strictly this is not covered under the scope of the brotherhood but we can't leave our brother without guidance now can we, hence applying the principles (did i get the spelling right?) of fairness that the brotherhood is based on we came up with a simple question (the brotherhood believes that even the most complex equations can be solved, if you know exactly what question to ask)

The question being can he come to terms with this new dynamics of relationships, keep being a friend, even though he has strong feelings for her, or does he feel that his feelings will seep out and somewhere cause bitterness either between him, his friend and/or her husband.

And like we expected the answer from our chap pointed to the latter in which case we advised him to step back and out, to sever any and all connections except those which can't be for (social / professional reasons). To bear the pain in the short term for peace and love to prosper....

Our sympathies with the dear chap who has to bear the pain and with the lady who will not be able to understand why her closest friend is going away, but such is life...one must make tough choices sometimes