Crime in Context

December 2012 happened, August 2013 happened. For a country of more than 1 Billion, it would be something of a herculic achievement, if those were the only two horrific crimes in a span of 9 months.

Unfortunately I have a feeling and you could look this up, horrific crimes happen daily in our country. Crimes against women, children, men, trees, animals, aged, historic monuments, crimes against children yet not born.

My hypothesis is that crimes can't be solved in isolation. If you try and find a solution for "rapes against women" you'll end up back where you started. The reason being that while each crime has its own genesis there is a much larger existential context in which it happens. So while a rape may so to say be an act born to a large extent from sexual depravity as compared to a household robbery which maybe an act born of the rich-poor divide. But the impunity and frequency with which they happen would suggest that they have strong linkages. Which means that we need to address both the specific and generic causes of crimes.

Listed below are the aspects that i believ to a large extent define the existential context in which we operate:
1. High population and high population density: These two together are a force to reckon with. if you assumed that across the world with the same standard of education, poverty etc, criminals were 1 to every 1000. A population of 1 billion would give you a lot of criminals. Coupled with a high density of population would mean that the concentration and frequency of crime would increase. It would also mean that criminals would be in close proximity to each other thus allowing for syndication of resources.

2. Low education rates: Here please note I haven't used the government's euphemism of literacy. Literacy means a person can read and write, while I would have to swallow a whole block of salt to believe the government figures of literacy, even if they were true for our purposes they would be meaningless. By education I mean percentage of population who has studied history and society, has learnt rational thinking and has developed an ability of question. Those figures unfortunately are not tracked by anyone. But given the number of literate private car drivers on well lit Delhi roads using high beam. I don't have much hope for what those numbers would look like, if tracked. What this means is that we have a huge population which has largely not been taught to think before act. To put it crudely a large part of the society is a bunch of animals draped up in a spectrum as wide as rags to Armani suits.

3. Poverty: Here is a wobbly wicket. While I believe we have more criminals in the rich than the poor and there are probably similar number of rape crimes being committed by the affluent as those who are deprived, if we look at poverty on a larger frame it is something that creates an enviornment that promotes crime. If you have nothing to lose, if you have no means of giving an education to your children, if the daily surroundings around you are full of dirt, disease and crime you are creating a viscious concotion that seeks to poison anyone who comes near it.

4. Governance framework: For a population as large, as dense and as undeucated the size of police force (and judicial strength) that would possibly be effective and the size we currently have in terms of ratio to be people being protected there is a huge mismatch. Unfortunately what that means is no matter how much we try a brute force approach to the problem would only increase our tax bill and nothing else. Luckily technology in the last decade has grown and is growing by such leaps and bounds that if we start putting our brains together we can effectively reduce the physical force we need and increase their effectiveness. Also the low education rate and poverty has a large say in the quality and maturity of our police and judicial force.

Within this large generic framework we must also explore the specific context of each type of crime.

Do I have in mind an effective solution to the problem. Unfortunately no. However I believe that is better than the half cooked solutions and laws I've been hearing people talk off. What do I believe are some of the low hanging fruits that may help in reducing crime?

1. Go for technology: Enable the police force, as well as the common person on the street to deter and report crime. Phones have cameras, we have the lowest telecom rates in the world. Use that to help record crimes. Make it easy for people to report crimes without requiring them to always get involved.

2. Govern the police: A forum from the public should be empanelled to audit how the police and / or other civic bodies function. None of them handle national secrets that need to be protected. The police needs to start learning that their bosses are not politicians, but th public. On the same note, make the police independent of the state. Promotions, postings etc should be controlled by an in-house body much similar to the way it happens in the defense services.

3. Support the police: December saw Delhi seeing thousands of youth daily on the streets protesting against the government's inaction. If only the same populace could be part of a volunteer police force, our severed short staffed police force would have many more ears and eyes to watch over the public. Companies could support the cause by providing 2-3 days off in a year so that their employees could volunteer for such causes.

Alleviating poverty, increasing education are a long distant dream that requires a strong government will, and given the state there, I'm leaving it out for the moment.

Death be my friend

Death be my timekeeper, as I race to be a better me every moment
Death be my witness, Let others know I lived a good life
Death be my friend, meet me at the very end














Death be my guardian, lead me into a new life...


My uncle, Brig. D.P. Dhillon passed away recently. A tall handsome gentleman, who used to play hockey in his youth and golf in his old age. He battled his way through infirmaries of age, with the same gusto as of a young soldier on the battlefield, before finally yielding to cancer. A battle lost, a heroic war called "life" won. His memories shall be cherished, wish you a beautiful life ahead uncle, may death be your friend...

A Letter To The President

Before you read ahead...please note this is a "dark story" not dark humor...just dark...read only if you wish to be left with a bad taste in the mouth....

It was one of those fights, that couples have, and like always she stopped talking and he wished he were dead. Yes you know those common place fights. One was awake watching tv and talking to friend, the other sat on the computer installing updates. I'm guessing you can figure out which was which. It did get late that night, and there was a early morning meeting he had to be in for by 9:30.

The alarm buzzed dutifully at 6, the maid as the lord would have it showed up almost punctually at 6:05...and he as was his duty got up scrawingly to open the door to her and then hover behind her to ensure everything remained in place as it was before she came in. Yes you're lucky if you get a trustworthy house help these days. Actually its lucky if you can trust yourself these days.

The 5 hrs sleep hadn't worked wonders for him, he needed his 8 hrs and this was 40% short...and it was a long drive and time was running short. He knew with his sleepy head...he shouldn't have been pushing the accelerator...he knew....he....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........bam!!!!!!!!!!

The car went over the railing into the river...funnily though he thought...he couldn't feel the water yet...Soon he thought, it'll come gushing in...this is the way to go he smiled....his eyes barely opened...before the impact rendered him unconscious...

When they opened there was tube down his throat...he couldn't really make out much...he flickered back into sleep...the next time he could make out bandages and people, couldn't really make out their faces...but these it didn't seem like they were angels...finally he could move his head around...but not his hands...one had a tube going into it...another was cuffed to the bed...cuffed?

Then he remembered....in his sleep he remembered what had happened, the speed...the drowsiness...he had hit someone from the back...it was they or him, was it a him? must've felt the water. He woke up with a scream...but no words came out...infact he couldn't even move...all that reflected his realization were tears...tears that for days couldn't stop flowing down his eyes...whether he was awake or asleep...the same scene played over and over...and much as he hoped it was always him ramming the car ahead of him...not the other way round.

The day the tube came out of his mouth...the police came before his family did. He was thankful for that. The police wanted a statement...he had a condition..."you will not allow any of family to come meet me"...The police guy was surprised...that wasn't a usual request...but he was adamant...and his will was followed. His statement was simple..."I was driving, it was boring, so i drove fast, it was still not interesting enough. The guy ahead had a good car, I wondered how strong it was...evidently it wasn't strong enough." Needless to say...the police were shocked...and as the word got out...the doctors, the new people, the family...no one could believe it...but believe they had to...it was the murderer's own words.

The disbelief turned into a rage, a rage that demanded speedy justice. People demanded that he be stoned in the middle of the road...He didn't care about those shouts, he could hear them from his window, but there was only one scene he could see...only one scene he couldn't change...the only thing that mattered...was undoable...

The courts, and shame on any of you who think justice is not delivered speedily in this country, fastracked his case. He was brought in bandages, on a stretcher to the court. He was given the option of having a lawyer defend him...he refused...His only request was for one adjournment..."Sir" he addressed the judge "Before the law of the country tries me, I think there is someone else who has the first right to have a go at me"

"Who" the judge asked indignantly

"The victim's family...If you so permit, I'd like to speak to them alone for a few minutes"

"Unusual but fine, you can have ten minutes before you are tried by the law of this country"

In the cell of the courthouse...from behind bars he saw the parents entered. Looked middle class like his. He wondered how'd they ever get over the loss.

"I will not apologize to you he said, for my apologies will not change a thing, but I do believe you of all people should get to know the truth". And he told them plain and simple, the fight, the meeting, the speed, the drowsiness, the crash. "Do not forgive me, for your son died an unnecessary and untimely death, but please try and find peace in your heart. May you find the strength to live through this, I'm saying this, cause I can't. Bye" And he turned and walked away.

The court scene was slightly longer with its procedures and irrelevant questioning. He'd wish they'd get over with it soon, it was hard trying to avoid looking at his mother, and the only thing he wanted to do was to look at his mother...but he couldn't, he couldn't...be strong he said to himself or she'll cry...be strong.

"Sir he interrupted when he couldn't take it any longer. I think we are beating around the bush, why is the state's lawyer trying to prove that I am a drunkard, what relevance does it have to this case. I am not, the facts of the case are this. I like speed, I like thrill and I found killing a man thrilling. You let me loose today I shall do it again, you let me loose 20 years from now I shall do it again."

That quite nicely sealed his fate...it was the gallows...rarest of rare circumstances. It was quite filmy, just like they showed in the films, the judge broke the nib of the pen after he completed the judgment. He almost broke into a smile, his first light moment in two months.

They took him back to the hospital and then in a few days to the central jail's hospital. He was really great-full though that they never let his folks about. Another month he was out of the jail's infirmary and to a proper cell.

What did you do they asked him, killed a man he said, and liked it to, and quite likely will do it again he said with a grin. No one ever thought of troubling him after that. He's got the smile of a devil they said, the devil himself.

His first question however was, so when do you hang me? The answer left him stunned, far worse than the impact of the car. Four years, they said..."Four years?" he asked...It's a long list and we don't have enough 'jallads'. What do you mean long queue, how long could it possibly be. They told him and he almost crapped in his pants....

That night he couldn't sleep, four years, he couldn't live four years with those dreams, four years would drive him mad.

The next day was spent pacing about, the analyst in him was back into action. Every problem has a solution he told himself...It was post lunch time that the solution literally walked to him. A young lad, probably must've just crossed out of his teens approached him. "Bhaiya...aapko englisss aati hai?". He nodded "Bhaiyaa aap president saab ko mera pardun later likh dogey?" A pardon letter that was it, that was it!!!

He wrote to the President the same evening...Dear President of India, Have we not enough poverty in India that you must spend more money on us. We the condemned are enjoying the fruits of democratic labour for years and those outside, the innocents are dying of hunger. Where is the justice in that. As I understand you do not have enough 'jallads'. Well I volunteer my services. I am willing to pull that lever as many times a day as you can get your potbellied policemen to load it up with those lined up on the gallows. By the way how're the flowers this season, I heard the weather's been real nice and springy, have a good flower show on you're lawns."

He didn't know what the President's reaction to the letter was, but he was pretty sure it reached the intended destination because he was shifted out to a lone cell away from the main jail and was given a rations fitting for a licensed murderer, mutton and a quart of cheap rum. The first time he approached the gallows he wondered of all those who'd gone there before him, some who had gone there to hood the 'victim' and pull the lever...some who had the hood put on them and fallen through the trap doors with their eyes popping out...Pulling the lever the first time he didn't really feel any emotion, the body fell, the noose ran taught and crack went the neck, job over. It was the fourth day that his hand shook once, it was the young lad he had written to be pardoned. He puked that day, couldn't touch his food. After that, he found peace. He didn't know how, but he did. He didn't need the liquor, he gave up on the non veg. When he was not yanking the lever he was strolling about the jail talking to the prisoners, helping the elderly, teaching maths to the younger ones. The first day he did that, a gang had surrounded him, after all he was the one sending them to their deaths. He had smiled at them and said "Why do you think I'm doing this, I'm getting there as fast as I can, you want to send me home faster...be my guest" His answer left them wondering, he was "yamaraj" himself they said, some one actually fell down on the ground and lay prostate before him chanting some mantra, and then others followed suit. "These Romans are crazy" he said to himself. Since that day he was both feared and revered, not just among the inmates but by the police also.

One night his mother called out to him in his dreams. It had been two years and five days since he had last seen her. He finally requested a meeting. They came, there were tears, howls actually, he joked about the yamaraj bit, she laughed through her tears. He told her about the nightmares, how now they were gone. "Will you now come back?" she asked. "Every person has his destiny, this mine, don't feel bad, this is what the lord willed, even though through tragedy he has helped me find peace, you must too.

The next day was a rapist's turn. He had raped a cousin of the chap who'd been hit by his car he was told. He pulled the lever "bastard" escaped his lips. He went for a walk after that, came back to his room and slept...A month was left to his turn, but they never got that chance, the next ten people on the list were either pardoned or as if by a miracle acquitted.

There was a prayer ceremony in the jail for "Yamaraj" who had come to do his deed and taken the lives of those he had wanted to along with him....Just as was written in the scriptures...

....These Romans are Crazy...

Scotty...Don't 'Beam' 'Up'

Over the last couple of years of doing extensive city driving, if you ask me two pet peeves without a second thought i will rattle off 'high beam driving' and 'excessive honking'. While the honks are still bearable (especially if you put your windows up)...there is sadly no escaping the high beams.

High beams in city driving are almost redundant since you've got vehicles all around you illuminating the road up. The only time you'd find them useful is when driving on a lonely dark stretch at night. However this realization doesn't seem to light up the minds of our fellow drivers.

Now I've often chided myself for not doing anything about it, other than driving on low beam myself. So this one day after one high beamer coming from the opposite direction passed me by, I decided to 'do' something...Right after him maybe two score metres away came another high beamer. Now this being a colony road i swerved partly into his lane stayed there for a while and then moved back out while slowing down. He also slowed down and I told him that he was on high beam.

His reactions:
"I just came off highway and hence was on high"
"You should have flashed"
"Who do you think you are, You can't just swerve into my lane and run me off"

Now the first was a really dumb point, There is no highway in the nearby radius which has a lonely stretch, nor any which is not lit up by streetlights. So i ignored it.

For the second I told him, I did flash him (cause that's what I do to all high beamers whenever feasible...its unfeasible when a high beamer is precluded or followed by a low beamer, why make the poor low beamer suffer). but he argued and said I didn't...unlikely but possible and since that was not my main point of reasoning I didn't pursue that line further.

For the third I told him, that if my intention was to run him off we wouldn't be talking, but because of his high beam someday somebody might be blinded for a second and run into him or someone else.

With that exchange he drove off cursing me and I drove off too....unfortunately it still doesn't feel like something was 'done'. After all my purpose was to convert one high beamer to low beamer. That didn't happen (unless from the next day while he didn't admit his mistake the guy did realize and did actually start using low beam...highly unlikely)...I did manage to aggravate a guy..so not only was he a high beamer...he was now a pissed off high beamer...and third I took the law into my own hands...which is a bad trend to set.

So the question...and the purpose of this lonnnnnnnngggggg post is....how do we get the high beamers onto low beams...what's the best method...Should we stand with placards and go on a fast to death to make people realize that corruption is not just about paying bribes but having a lack of civic sense....or should we do what I did...or worse start swinging baseball bats into the headlamps of cars being driven on high beams...

I don't think either is a good solution. If you have one in mind do let me know...

Meanwhile I think I shall cut out some lettering and paste it on the inside of my car's rearscreen in golden letters "WHY ON HIGH BEAM" that's genteel enough a hint don't ya think :)

to

Cute Little Short Stories #CLSS - Plain

She was at her desk. You could see from the lines on her face that she was tired and weary.

'Want to go out and chill a bit'

'Where?'

'Oh some place nice'

'But i'm not even dressed up she said, just this plain dress and shoes'

'On you nothing is plain'

She smiled...'so where are we going again?'

'To the roof' he said with a tone of full seriousness

'But you said some place nice'

'Come with me and you can judge for yourself if it is or isn't'

The sun was at its last stages of saying goodbye for the day. He took out his cell and played a touch of soft music and he pulled her into his arms and they slow danced 'Want me to cook tonight?' he asked.

'What will you cook she asked'

Something plain he said

'With you its never plain' she replied with a smile

What we need...is a bit of Intimacy

While the world harps about privacy, or the lack of it in this era of phone hacks and News of The World etc etc I would like you to draw your attention to a more critical ailment that ails the world. Lack of intimacy.

I am assuming that the readers of this blog have at some point of time or the other found themselves in somebody's arms. Their mothers, lovers or even their pets. What is so warming about being in somebody's arms? Would it work if those arms were substituted with any other person?

My hypothesis is that this warmth has little to do with the physical proximity but more to do with the feeling of being intimate (sexual intimacy is just one aspect of it or just one way it gets expressed) is the feeling of being naked, or open and transparent to the other person. Of feeling secure.

The world as its getting more complex, more networked, some parts of it, large parts of it, maybe under a threat of losing out this intimacy. We have friends, parents, lovers. But do we find ourselves comfortable being naked in front of them?

I have a fear that while the bodies in favor of being hot are getting increasingly scantily dressed, the hearts are getting increasingly clothed. Privacy has taken over intimacy.

Or perhaps am talking all bollocks and you just wasted five minutes reading this and are now cursing me for this pointless stream of words. My bad :D

When things were tough...the world was much better

As I was driven out of the airport in my cab, along side passed a Meru, with a lady inside speaking away on the phone, don't know to who, don't know what topic. And like the rolling of the reel of a film, the scene panned out with many more such cars ahead and behind us, made me wonder...

Of the days when travelling from one city to another was not just a matter of logging onto cleartrip and booking a flight, getting out of office into a cab, another one picking you up at the other end. Where travel required thought, where companies preferred that people travelled in groups so that they could be picked up together. Where cabs were still a luxury and if you were a singleton you'd take an auto, not because you were considerate of the environment but just cause it was more economical.

Where per force you would spend time talking to neighbours or your auto driver because well there was no cell phone or twitter to hide into. Where if you didn't feel like talking, you would sit in silence and enjoy the moments of forced solitude.

Where distance did make the heart fonder, and since you couldn't reach the other person on sms, any letter or phone or even know how of the other person made you smile

Shit those days were bloody hard, can't imagine how we got through living without tv till age 8!!!


...and now...we're going back...this summer heat the family has discovered that no one wants to watch the tv cause its too hot (no ac in the drawing room)..and we all eat dinner together in the bedroom...talking chit chatting...

God i hate technology....god i love technology...damn our middle classness that we haven't yet thought of putting in the ac in the drawing room...god bless our middle classness...that we haven't :)

Three Signs of Success

I've seen people on the streets, and I've seen people who are multi-millionaires at a very young age. I've seen beautiful people, well built people, people who are masters of their craft.

Yet neither one seems to be a good measure of success. People who are successful at their career may not be that big a hit on the personal front. A poor laborer may have had no opportunity to build a great career, does that mean a laborer can't be successful?

Over the years a kind of feeling struck me that measures of success need not be these direct aspects and I related back to my experiences when I felt successful and realized it really may be true. So if you are feeling successful tell me do you also feel that you can:

1. Breathe easy
2. Sleep easy
3. Crap well

Yes really these are the three. If you are not breathing in air like you own the world, if you can't sleep well at the end of the day and your crap looks like puke then there's something really wrong in your world even if the world can't see it. And the days all these are working well, no matter whether the world notices or not, you are probably feeling its your best day ever...

A prayer

Lord, protect our doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is Doubt that makes us grow because it forces us to look fearlessly at the many answers that exist to one question. And in order for this to be possible…

Lord, protect our decisions, because making Decisions is a way of praying. Give us the courage, after our doubts, to be able to choose between one road and another. May our YES always be a YES, and NO always be a NO. Once we have chosen our road, may we never look back nor allow our soul to be eaten away by remorse. And in order for this to be possible…

Lord, protect our actions, because Action is way of praying. May our daily bread be the result of the very best that we carry within us. May we, through work and Action, share a little of the love we receive. And in order for this to be possible…

Lord, protect our dreams, because to Dream is a way of praying. Make sure that, regardless of our age or our circumstances, we are capable of keeping alight in our heart the sacred flame of hope and perseverance. And in order for this to be possible…

Lord, give us enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm is way of praying. It is what binds us to the Heavens and to Earth, to grown-ups, and to children; it is what tells us that our desires are important and deserve our best efforts. It is Enthusiasm that reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing. And in order for this to be possible…

Lord, protect us, because Life is the only way we have of making manifest Your miracle. May the earth continue to transform seeds into wheat, may we continue to transmute wheat into bread. And this is only possible if we have Love; therefore, do not leave us in solitude. Always give us Your company, and the company of men and women who have doubts, who act and dream and feel enthusiasm, and who live each day as if it were totally dedicated to Your glory.

Amen.

This one is by Coehlo, can also be found on his blog http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/09/05/a-prayer/

It is one of those, that asks for the right things...gave me a sense of peace reading this one

Like Dogs chasing Cars

Was seeing SourceCode yesterday night, and the movie is slow enough to give your mind time to have wandering thoughts. And I came back to a thought that I had when I had first started this blog. About patterns, about the mind believing something, because to it, that seems rational. But what if we didn't believe what we felt was rational, believable.

Then the world is open to so many more thoughts. Two + two need not be four, cars may run from dogs, being alone may not be bad, there could be a past present and future and they may not be in serial order. There could be afterlife, what I thought was love, may have been love, and then what I didn't think was love could also be love. Success could mean, having a cup of tea relaxed, people don't cry at funerals for its not a reason to be sad.

I don't know, I think I gotta stop being in patterns. It opens up so many more possibilities

mele-mein-choli

no no this is not going to be a dirty naughty post...though am very tempted to write one ;)

In recent times two of my friends have talked about a deep sadness that refuses to get shaken off. While one is here in India, another is based in US; both are doing pretty ok (read good) on the professional front and both seem to have a very sticky personal front.

We all go through ups and downs in our lives don't we. But this sounded different, this was neither an up nor a down, but like a bottle of beer that had been kept open so long that it had gone flat, the fizz had gone.

The fizz that makes you wake up in the morning and face the world which isn't always good to you, isn't always bad to you; to take the twists and turns that life throws up before you. The fizz is that tingling taste that you feel, that sense of excitement, the sense of wanting to know what's coming.

But sometimes you know you eat boiled vegetables the doctor has told you so and you think i'll have the fizz some another day. And you get enticed, you keep pushing the fizz away, thinking you still have time, but you forget the bottle is open...

Life is about balance, somedays we really do need to skip that bottle of fizz, but it can't be that we just keep ignoring our dreams everyday, because it just might be that when you've made enough money to live your dreams, you find you don't have any dreams any longer.

The trouble is not about people focusing on work more than their own life, you might find the same happening in people with a very good personal life but hardly any success at work. Life needs a meaning, a search, and a desire...

So what does one do when the bottle of beer goes flat, is it the end then, no hope for people to get out of this state of sadness.

I'm not sure but I would bet against it, the whole thing about life, about every new breath you take is that you don't know what can happen next. Sometimes its you who brings in the change, sometimes life thrusts a change on you that pulls you out of it.

I will not be presumptuous and tell you what one should do when one is going through such a phase, ok what the hell I can atleast throw some wild shots who knows you might benefit from it. The first is change...you can't expect different results if you keep doing same thing. Second its a long drawn out battle...having somebody you can trust especially in your down times may just help. And lastly if you're going to live (and for those considering taking an overdose of sleeping pills...imagine if you die and there is actually a god and rebirth is not just make believe and you are reborn in worse of conditions...now that wouldn't be good would it... :P )...so as i was saying...if you're going to live...fight!!! fight your way out of this melancholy...

Inertia

Life wouldn't it be much more beautiful if we could take care of those things where we fall short on; not the stuff that is dependent on external factors, but the shortcomings within. Don't exercise, you start exercising the next day. Ain't dilligent about work, you start being the star performer the next day. Can't tell when clothes look good on you and when not, next day you become the style statement around town.



What is it that holds us back, even when we know the answer. Think of your own shortcomings, tellme that you don't know the answer to how to correct them. But do you know what stops you from overcoming them?



Fear?

Habit?

Not enough investment into trying to bring the change?

Too caught up in the rut?

Trying to change too many things simultaneously?



Maybe all of those. Maybe...we're just too used to seeing us as we are that we can't believe we could be something or someone else...someone better...someone we dreamt to grow up to be. Maybe we're afraid that while we're changing people will react weirdly to us, wonder what's wrong, maybe we imagine ourselves as the different person, but we don't imagine what it will take to take us there and hence when the challenges come up...we're not ready.



So let me list a whole lot of things I want to change about myself:

Exercise more regularly

Write, more and varied

Read more

Get work done in time (read concentrate)

Cook



So what's been holding me back...a missing drive...to go take on the world and say I am the conqueror. Well tell you what, I don't know what challenges lie ahead, what challenges from the past shall show their faces again, but I hope that 2011 shall see me taking them on with a shinier sword. What more...I hope the new year sees you ready for your battles too :)

...and hope you have a happy time...after all what's a destiny if you haven't enjoyed the journey!

What would you like to hear

Again this is a no post post...cause while i feel like writing am not sure what i want to say. So wondering if i should try and reverse the question...what would you like to hear...

The vindictive judge

We are often very wary of people judging us, our thoughts and actions. I've heard this all to often from a lot of people. Recently i've begun to wonder whether it's really the world we are afraid off? or somewhere deep within it is we judging ourselves and pointing fingers at the world.

This isn't a long post, it doesn't even have examples or pictures, not even formatted text...just a thought...have you been judging yourself...

Soulmates

Courtesy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SoulmateOne story about soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them:

[Primeval man] could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast …Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods ... Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: 'I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg.'

—Aristophanes, Plato’s Symposium, ^[1]

According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God". Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.^[2][3]

Laughter the Best Medicine

Was having this conversation with dad...about families, tensions within them et. al. And we discussed how right from the one yr old baby in the house to the adults each was driven by their fears and aspirations. Fears and aspirations that can lead to conflict.

So what makes for a happy family? Or how would you even know whether your family was happy or not?

It's probably the amount of laughter or light hearted conversations you can hear in your family, that i feel is the only decent measure. And if that's the measure then you'll find that arguments over right and wrong don't work out well. Cause in real life seldom will you find people wrong, arguments happen over two different perspectives of right. And only once we learn to take ourselves lightly, issues lightly, rights and wrongs lightly...will mirth feel welcome in our homes

Feminism - Is it about the Woman ?

Dumb question innit? But then if it is so why am I asking it...

Feminism as per what I've come to make of it, is understood by people as for and by the women.

Ofcourse if that is true, it reiterates my other hypothesis; people don't think a lot.

Feminism has got nothing to do with women, it has got everything to do with Society. Yes society, the group of people living interdependent on each other for their survival as well as prosperity.

And the last four words of the above sentence hold the key to why it is so. An imbalance in the society will lead to its decay. Unfortunately no system manages to hold perfect balance. In our human context in most of the sub societies the imbalance crept in the form of women being trounced upon. And hence feminism sprouted to restore that balance. So if you hear someone say its about 'bra-burning' or 'proving to them men' or 'being equal', its just that they haven't thought enough. Feminism is not a fight of woman against man, it is a fight women fight hand in hand with men because its a fight for a better society.

Uneasy Love

I've been an ardent believer of the "try and understand" people philosophy

It's not a bad philosophy and to a very large extent it should be followed

But beyond that you'll find there's enough about a person you'll just never understand

And so if you are going to base your love on understanding then "curse me to any end for saying this now and not earlier" you are probably gonna be in big trouble

So this line today "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood" that i read on FB kinda struck me, while like most sensible statements its corrupted by a bias towards one gender...but if you can get past that...you'll find that only loving is loving...understanding is never gonna be loving

And that's a very uneasy zone...at least for me...because it involves going into a zone where you are vulnerable and exposed, there is no back up of rationality to help you...it sends shivers down your spine and makes your heart rush...

But hey didn't I just describe symptoms of being in love...

I rest my c"ass"e

Of Truth and Tact

So there was this intensive discussion going on with a young lady...who for all logic thrown at her would still come back to the strongly held notion..."all men are assholes"

Yes yes i can hear you ladies clapping out there, enough with it, this one really has it really ingrained into her (or atleast so she makes one believe :P )

Anyways there is and has always been one winning statement against this theory, and different people use it in different styles

The Charmer: "I bet I can tell you one chap who doesn't fall into this category and you'd agree with me....your father"

The Naughty Guy: "And pray tell me what category would you put your father in then?"

The Tactless Shoots from his mouth kinda guy: "So you're saying your father is an asshole?"

While and please note this all three statements say the same thing, they all (hopefully) have different impact on the listener

And this is where truth and tact come in and why some guys get popular with the girls (or anybody) and some don't...say what you must, but learn to say it in a tactful and pleasing manner :)

p.s. Those of you who are wondering which of these three categories TSI falls in, how slow can you be!!! (this again is the perfect example of the tactless shoots from his mouth kinda guy)...take a hint :P This is a i'm trying to rescue the situation, wasn't trying to offend you, but you know you are right, men 'can' be assholes, so please live with that and don't hate me for it, but still i win the argument kind of apologetic post

p.p.s. and so dear reader...even in the worst of situations...have your sense of humor about :P ...and do image search for 'men are assholes' its hilarious

Africa Male

The Sanely Insane again in conversation with Miss Hot Chocolate Fudge

For the first part click here: Of Sex n Spirituality

HCF: TSI.. a pal in africa (male) is currently got a NY chick staying with him
getting the best sexual ed he could have ever asked for

TSI: good for him; may i ask why am i being made jealous?

HCF: and is for some reason worried that anal sex may lead to disease. To the best of my knowledge that is bull, wanted to ask you to double check if there was a health hazard

TSI: if she has aids...its possible

HCF: aids - vaginal or anal, either way na

TSI: yeps

HCF: anal has no additional health hazard or does it

TSI: nopes...the usual STDs, anything in the blood

HCF: thanks! thought as much bt was not 100% certain. No - was not making u jealous, man is a scrawny boy.. recently initiated so like a boy in a zoo, jealously unwarranted

TSI: and heading directly to anal...well he's got bumper lottery :P, funnily though i didnt feel jealous, I actually cant seem to give a damn :P

HCF: yea same here he gives me details n i hear like a maternal aunt and not missing the feeling either

TSI: u have a guy u silly ass

HCF: so?

TSI: why wud u feel jealous, duh!

HCF: u do know that being in a relationship can dull the sex life also unless u are very vigilant

TSI: really? dunno...never been in one :P that long

HCF: oooh.. big hug, not being patronizing

TSI: :)

HCF: but heard u feeling lost type emotions for a while now, and now ur dng all the "actions in ur control" bt it aint happening for the now

TSI: what r u blabbering abt?

HCF: the feeling that i get that u are gng through a tired of trying phase wrt women
and are fed up and indifferent n dng the right things, like the arranged marriage etc
but heart not in it

TSI: nopes..i was giving the eye to eye look to a girl on the metro today...trousers, formal jacket, heels, kohl eyes...I jst dont want normal game anymore...I want the game...I want the girl who has the tigress in her...I've had enuf of these rabbits, I want one who'll play the game back, stand up and make conversation, those types

HCF: heard a certain jolie came back in the market ;-). And heard tantric tigress tales n occult secrets she is a owner of

TSI: I think she gets off these days by adopting kids...thats her new orgasm :P

HCF: may be u can show her a path back to her womb

TSI: we'll let the hollywood hunks do that :P I'd pefer someone more local

HCF: rakhi sawant? who wld u place as a jolie league, Sen sushmita ?

TSI: dude...i dont want an actress.

HCF: am kidding mr serious, I know u dont

TSI: why dont ppl use the ‘:P’ smilye like i do..makes it easy for everyone to understand :P

HCF: Interesting observation made today though, was in a all girl school and never got along with the uber feminine kinds, well FB had an interesting trend to show 10 years later, 90% of these are married, hve a 2-5 yr old kid, not more than 100-170 friends, and most from school, and status n pics revolving arnd the toddler, vs interestingly, a lot of the DPS/ non girl school girls, are not married, have international degrees and opinions the shocking thing!

TSI: yeah..so now we kno...parents who send girls to girls schools intend to marry them as soon as they can legally :P
HCF: yea the unwritten rule of the 25 yr cut off mark

TSI: :P

p.s. Dear African male, hope u r having the ride of your life time, with warm regards and best wishes TSI and HCF...imagine us giving our winks and thumbs up signs :P